It wasn't me

Most of you will concur with me when I say some of the things we were taught in school barely apply in real life. However, some math like find x can come handy during this cold season, you can use it to find your ex. Drop a perpendicular line at an angle of 90°,well this is the most used though some people still don't get it. In pit latrines, dropping a perpendicular line at an angle of 90° comes in to use..if you miscalculate you will end up missing the hole.

So during this kafunction, my fisi eyes saw this curvy lady and she became my target,my crush...my mboga. We were busy stealing glances at each other when all of a sudden tumbo kaleta shida. Rushing to the loo,on the verge of shitting in my pants,I had to move faster and slow at the same time to hold it in.
Kufika loo,kuna msee hakudrop the perpendicular line poa,but with my situation I had to ignore and persevere the smell of it.. I was actually feeling relieved,si unajua hako ka feeling. Me kutoka nakutana na mboga imeshikilia tumbo pia,kwani tulipikiwa na mafuta ya condom?

Problem came when I remembered the small hill near the hole still steaming,worsening the situation ni its smell. Being the only person seen coming out,How do I tell her it wasn't me when she hasn't asked? I left the funky immediately to avoid meeting her when she comes out. Spoiled day, anyway you and me know very well it wasn't me.