It's about a year and some change after Ben was MIA..(Missing in Action), 'his Son' a couple of months old. Her majesty the chief's daughter and me we were like Waiguru and Kabura ( I had never seen her). My dad now among the few people who owned a mobile phone in the entire village,a Nokia 3310 that nobody else apart from me & him were allowed to touch. It was because I usually helped him on how to operate,especially the messaging sector. I normally went some distance from home for network..a chance to ringa kidogo with it,playing the Nokia tune as music,then cancelling it whenever I saw a hot girl, pretending it was a call.
One day as I was looking for the precious network, I saw the lantana branches dancing to "Weeepa!! Awilo longomba..hey hey hey hey hey hey...." I freaked out after remembering the snake around his nake on the song's video (used to pay 5/= to watch this plus a movie). I removed my blue umoja slipper together with its red bata partner (zimeshikwa na wire after kukatika) ready to tiptoe past there with my hair erect. Shock on me, I saw some legs in the air,between them some two black stiff buttocks (again it reminded me of her majesty moments). Now,my hair exchanged its erection with something else, wait..it's Mr Pamba, the village elder with the chief's wife.
This explained how the two of them were always seen together,they even had started cooking up rumours how her majesty's son looked like me, he had sexy eyes, well arranged teeth,and a handsome face like mine (their words). Wishing the phone had a camera,the scene was awesome but enyewe wanaume tujaribu kupaka part zingine mafuta. Some things have the worst timings, I was supposed to sneeze,holding in was a bad idea,it came out with a blast.. atssiiiiaaa!!! I had to run as the confused homosepians too tried to flee the scene of crime. Mr Pamba (a nickname from his favorite torn jacket with cotton hanging from the holes) fell on his protruding belly and swung like a seesaw while trying to run with his pants down. Now I know why her Majesty,the Chief's daughter was so good at it, genetics.
On returning home,minutes later I managed to bump in to one of my xxx actors, he said we needed to talk "tuongee kama watu wakubwa bwana" Hehe I had never felt this powerful, I told him I would be back later since I had to return the phone. He agreed because he knew my dad's temper wasn't something to temper with." Leo network nimeipata past Taabu nyingi canteen" had to lie, after all I had sent the intented message to uncle Paul and even had a reply.
Later me and Mr Pamba agreed to keep the secret and become friends after he agreed to my terms and conditions. He would allow me visit his njugu mawe plantations freely,he would shut up about Mary and me and finally Mary's mom; his mpango wa kando would allow us meet under her secrecy. We signed our deal and he gave me twenty shillings note as a simple of appreciation, I bought some tiger batteries for my walkman,rewinded my Awilo tape with a biro pen and my day was made.
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